You know, this is a little embarrassing
But last night, with the kids all at sleepovers
And the wife out of town, I,
I built a fort in the lounge.
I capsized coffee tables into a castle wall
And on the tall backs of dining chair joists
Hoist a sheet ceiling over a great hall;
Released seat cushions were jigsawed into a crazy paved floor
And a corkboard became a drawbridge door.
A sign from the ripped side of a
Cardboard box was the final touch;
Pinned to the sheets, it read:
‘No girls aloud’.
When all was done I stood wide legged proud
The King of Chateau Awesome.
Arrayed in my finest kingly armour
Of ugg boots and flannelette pyjamas,
With ceremony I entered the castle keep.
With the portcullis raised
And my head back through the castle gates,
I surveyed all my lands, of
….the plasma TV.
Where I watched the Goonies and Stand By Me and,
I don’t care, but I hid when they found the boy’s body
I drank creaming soda from the bottle and
Ate Cheezels one by one in sets of ten
I raided the shed and on my Walkman played Kiss tapes while I
Read to torchlight the Avengers and Swamp Thing and X-Men.
I even worked out how to plug the VHS into the DVD
So I could watch my collection of G Force and Masters of the Universe on TV.
I fell asleep giggly and warm, thinking of She-Ra and how I had a sword and that made me someone, and though I woke slightly sick, lips sticky with soda syrup and crusty cheese crumbs, I think I felt better than I can remember I ever have.
Anyway, I’m not sure that she’d understand, son.
So, please keep this to yourselfAnd don’t tell your mum.